Kelly Conroy is redefining the meaning behind the long standing, grade school punchline of “your mom.” The woman behind @YourMomRacesRally is a mother of two and rally cross driver: two identities that are integral to her being. Kelly has been competing for the last two years in RallyCross events hosted by the California Rallycross Association and Northwest Rally Association, taking her supportive family unit along with her. Besides breaking barriers, Kelly is diminishing generational cycles by setting the example; encouraging that whatever pathway other women choose for themselves, whether it’s solely motherhood, motorsports, both, or any other interest, they are fulfilled and happy, just as she is.
The conversation around personal fulfillment can be a daunting think-a-thon for many. Most people may not know what questions to ask or where to begin looking. Kelly does a specific exercise to guide her. “I visualize myself as an 80 year old,” she says. “Okay, 80-year-old Kelly, what do you have to say? What do you want to look back on?” She recognizes that American culture is deeply obsessed with youth. “So many people [say], ‘I have kids, I'm in my late 30s. It's all over for me.’ We resign ourselves to believe that life is over. Hopefully, if you do the math… I still have another 40 or more years to live. I'm just going to give up for 40 years? You can do anything at any time.” This thought process is not just limited to mothers, parents, or even the older generation. Kelly has even received messages from those as young as 26, believing that it’s too late for them to start something new.
For Kelly, the idea of motorsports was planted through small experiences. She did not grow up around motorsports, but was instead introduced through friends in her 20s. “[I] watched motocross and a friend had taught me to putt-putt around on his dirt bike,” but that was the extent of her introduction. As she got older, rally stuck out to her in particular. “I think it just was really outside of my world. And that's what I wanted, something different than what my normal daily life looked like. I describe it as bonkers.”
“[I had] to overcome that narrative and say my kids can be so important to me at the same time as I can be a whole person…You don't have to completely disappear, you don't have to be completely erased to be a good mom.”
In order to start the rally venture, Kelly had to reframe her mindset; a mindset that to no fault of her own, had been passed down by generational ideology. She remarks, “Once I decided to do it, [I said] I'm going to do it until I'm done doing it. There aren't going to be barriers. There will be obstacles that I need to figure out how to go around, challenges that I need to overcome. But I'm going to figure this out.” From the initial decision, Kelly received immense support from her village, allowing for certain obstacles to be manageable. “The biggest challenge was my own internal beliefs and fears, believing these sort of cultural narratives, which are especially given to women and to mothers, where it’s selfish of you to spend time doing something that doesn't have anything to do with your kids. That it’s selfish of you to spend money that you could be investing in your kids. Moms are told over and over again that we're not allowed to have anything for ourselves; once we have kids, we disappear, we just kind of vanish into our children. [I had] to overcome that narrative and say my kids can be so important to me at the same time as I can be a whole person. I've become a better mom, our family has become more connected, we spend more quality time together, and now my kids get to see me as who I am as a whole person. And they get to see what it is to be a mom. You don't have to completely disappear, you don't have to be completely erased to be a good mom.”
Besides reframing her lens of motherhood, Kelly also dealt with the more tangible obstacle of finances. Grassroots motorsports can be very difficult to fund unless a driver has financial backing either through their personal means or sponsorships. In Kelly’s case, financial sacrifices were made to purchase her own rally vehicle. “We, as a unit (my husband and I), decided we had to sell our camper trailer in order to buy me a race car and lessons at Dirtfish Rally School.” Even then, Kelly noticed that she was further adjusting the definition of what motherhood has traditionally looked like from a financial perspective. “It was really about renegotiating how much space I take up. I had gotten really used to being very small and taking up as little space as possible and making sure that everybody else had what they needed and wanted before I ever even considered myself. So, I plopped myself back into the equation and that meant that things needed to be redistributed. And that has been such a healthy, wonderful thing for our whole family and for myself.”
In the Driver’s Seat
As many in the rally world know, the place to learn and perfect rally racing is Dirtfish Rally School in Snoqualmie, Washington. Kelly participated in a women’s class for a single day session, learning vehicle basics and exercises. She labels the experience as incredible and full of support, “There was a girl who had just gotten her driver's license and her parents encouraged her to do the class so that she could learn better car control. Then there were a couple other women that were similarly aged to me. We all cheered each other on and were rooting for each other.” The class curriculum included covering racing concepts, basic physics, and technical driving skills; however, they don’t spend much time in the classroom. “You can't learn how to drive a rally car on a whiteboard. We got as much seat time [on the track] as possible. And then after lunch, [we] linked all of the elements together.”
Since her school experience, Kelly has competed in multiple Rallycross events. She explains that Rallycross consists of, “[Racing] one car at a time on a mixed-road course, but usually loose surfaces, like gravel or dirt.” Like all motorsports, there is a tech inspection to ensure your brakes are working and no possible projectiles are present in the vehicle. Then you’re up against the clock. “Which is another thing that I really appreciate about rally,” she adds, “it's not direct competition. It's about self-improvement… instead of comparing yourself to the next person it's, ‘was I faster on that lap than I was the last lap?’” The most convenient part for all interested in Rallycross is its accessibility because people can take their daily drivers, that is if they want to take the risk.
For Kelly, the best part about her rally journey is allowing her children to experience the fun with her. “They think going out into the garage and working on the car is really fun. My son loves to get greasy and show me his little greasy hands. They love getting under the car and my daughter has made a chain of zip ties on my side view mirror that [are] my good luck zip ties. She'll get a screwdriver and she'll pretend like she's out there working on the car. I love exposing them to the mechanical side of things, because I think it's really valuable knowledge and [showing them] you can do this too.” Especially for her daughter, Kelly believes it's very important to instill the idea of possibilities. “It's so weird to me that cars and motorsports are gendered. It has nothing to do with your chromosomes, it's just mechanical pieces. Anybody can do it. And same with driving. It's just skill. And skill can be learned no matter who you are.”
“There's no one right way to do this as anybody, but especially as a mom. Every mom is just trying to figure out how to do it in her own way.”
Out on the course, Kelly is also not the only mom. However, she recognizes and respects how different women choose to approach their relationship with rally and motherhood. “When we took the car up to the Northwest Rally Association’s All Women's Rallycross event, I was really surprised because it was an all women's event and my kids were the only kids there in the morning. I [knew] there [were] other moms in [the] crowd, but this is [their] break from that world. This is something [they] do that's just for [them]. I think that's so valuable. There's no one right way to do this as anybody, but especially as a mom. I think whatever works best for each mom is great.” Spectators and supporters showed up in the afternoon to watch the actual race and that’s when a lot of partners and kids arrived. Kelly recalls a special moment she was able to witness after the race that day. A driver who was in the crowd holding her baby was called for the podium, catching the driver, who did not think she placed, off guard. “I kind of saw her [stop and think], what do I do with the baby? She walked up there with the baby. It was lovely. Every mom is just trying to figure out how to do it in her own way. A lot of moms end up getting the kids into it, so it becomes a family thing that they all do together. There's [also] a lot of moms who are like, this is my thing and I do it and it's my hobby and everybody respects that.” Kelly also is quick to recognize the fine line that society forces mothers, especially those who are pursuing nontraditional pathways, to walk. “It's like, well, you can't be serious. You can't actually be very good. You're not gonna take the same risks. You're not gonna push as hard, right? Because moms aren't taken seriously, I think, just because we have kids. It's very common for women to not really talk about being a mom when they're trying to have this other piece of their identity out in the world. Part of my thing is [my kids are] both part of me. They're both very important parts of me. So, how can I show up as my whole self and not feel like I have to only show fragmented pieces.”
“You want to look back on this life that you built, that you followed your intuition, you had fun, you made some mistakes, you learned from them. You want to build your own life because you're the one living it.”
The biggest impression from Kelly’s story is the theme of choosing to pursue what she feels is right for her. She discusses what she calls a checklist, a list of “accomplishments” our society places on each one of us to achieve. “Life is so prescriptive for the first 25 years. You will go to school, then you will graduate from college, then you will get a job, then you will get married, then you will have a kid and then it's the checklist ends. For me at least, I did check, check, check, check, check and then I was looking around like I did all my check boxes… what the f*** do I do now? I think that's why a lot of people think, well life’s all over for me. No. That's when you get to be creative. It becomes more like a tapestry. Instead of a checklist, it's more like I get to weave this in. And now I want to try this and bring this textile in. And now I want this texture. And now I want this color. You get to make it whatever you want. I think we're so conditioned to only be checking the boxes that other people are expecting us to check that when we get to the end of that list, we're like, who am I? What should I do next? I love that feeling of I don't have to be here, I want to be here. What a gift. When you're 80 years old and looking back, are you going to be like, I sure smashed that checklist. I sure was successful in everybody else's eyes. No, you want to look back on this life that you built, that you followed your intuition, you had fun, you made some mistakes, you learned from them. You want to build your own life because you're the one living it. If you do the same things, you're gonna get the same result. But if you want a different life to look back on when you're 80 years old, the steps you take now are what's gonna get you there…”
Kelly’s book about her rally journey is set to be released by Carrara Media in early 2026. To follow along with her adventures, follow her on Instagram @YourMomRacesRally.
